she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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