Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize