I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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