we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
