We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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