You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
