I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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