lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize