I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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