Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
