She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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