the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
