so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
