Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
40s are totally the cure
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
