Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How external is "for external use only"?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
