If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
