so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
