they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
