DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
