Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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