You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
