Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize