Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
