my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
