Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
