If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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