Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
