can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize