census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
