I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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