i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
