i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize