If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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