one word: firstdatebathroomanal
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The ass gains better be worth it
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