heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have tasted many bathrooms
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
