Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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