Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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