do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just invented taco cereal.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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