im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
