I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
