I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
