My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
