We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
