dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
