Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Help. Why am I so naked?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
