Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
