dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
