My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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