And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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