i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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