question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
