I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
