I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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