Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
