i was born a porn star she said
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
