Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
