"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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