I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
