just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
