maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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