Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize