i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
