She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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