I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
